I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
