he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
