Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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