Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
