dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
