you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You are the jesus of drinking
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
