I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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