i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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