Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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