The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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