Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
