Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
