booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
