She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize