I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize