she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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