Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
