I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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