We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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