I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
