btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
