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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
