Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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