Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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