He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
