Do vagina's smell?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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