Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
