I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
