Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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