I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
