I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
