Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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