you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize