I must be too annoying 4 u.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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