just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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