Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
