his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize