Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
