Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

your thong is hanging out like whoa

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(305): View more from Florida

Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?

(201): View more from New Jersey

obviously you're part succubus.

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(650): View more from California

Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.

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(208): View more from Idaho

you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.

(1-208): View more from Idaho

did we at least go back and get it?

(208): View more from Idaho

how else do you think we got jack in the box...?

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(574): View more from Indiana

Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.

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(630): View more from Illinois

What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"

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