Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
