maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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