I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
