i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
