please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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