So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize