so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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