yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
