Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
