Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
