it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
