Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
