This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
