MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
