So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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