Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
