The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
