I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
