we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
How does one acquire holy water?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
