You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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