I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
