I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just pee around me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
