I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
