this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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