she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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