So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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