the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
