Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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