Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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