you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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