I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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